After a long journey, I'm healthy and happy!

“I had to work harder to be prettier. Even outside the pool, I saw the world as a competition. And if I wasn’t winning, I completely failed.”

“The perfectionist drive that made me a star athlete in the water, out of the water tore me apart. As I nitpicked every little aspect of myself, I discovered over and over again that I wasn’t good enough.”

- In The Water They Can’t See You Cry (Page 89)

Has anyone else felt this drive to be perfect, whether it’s in a sport, the workplace, social scene or family life? I struggled with this a lot when I was younger, but even as a grown up and a Mom, sometimes the pressure to be perfect can get to you every now and again.

Growing up in the public eye, I definitely felt the pressure to look like what society deemed as “beautiful.” Even though it seemed like I was on top of the world, with my first Olympics at 14 followed by a successful career as a model, sports broadcaster, author and now Mom, deep down I tore myself apart in every way to please the outside world. If you’ve read my book, In The Water They Can’t See You Cry, you know that this need to be perfect drove me into a deep depression with an eating disorder and other issues. Instead of having the most glamorous life, I despised myself. I was miserable.

And I used swimming to cope with my problems – it was literally my meditation, my escape. I know a lot of us try to workout, dye our hair, shop or do other external activities to make ourselves feel better in the short-term. I’ve learned through my long journey, that what really helps is working on the inside. I finally faced my reality with the help of my amazing husband, Sacha, and got help. Today I am very happy and healthy, and have a great life – with no regrets, believe it or not.  I’m a much stronger person from the things I went through.

Have you experienced similar struggles as a young adult or even a Mom or Dad, friend, family member, student, or athlete? I would love for you to share your story with me and how you recovered. My blog is a community where we can be open and honest, relate to and help each other. Can’t wait to hear from you!

My CNN iReport: 'Perfect' is Unrealistic

In this video by CNN iReport, I reflect on overcoming my past struggles that are outlined in my book, "In The Water They Can't See You Cry," and I also reveal my pre-compeition rituals. Please watch!

Set Goals

Each day when you wake up you should have goals in mind: How can I be better today? How can I be a better mom, wife or friend?

Pushing yourself is the only way to grow and improve. While daily or short-term objectives are important, you should also keep a bigger picture in mind – making weekly, monthly and yearly goals. Goals can be as minor as striving to squeeze in a workout at lunch or as large as working towards achieving “employee or athlete of the year.”

For a little motivation and direction, I’ll give you a little taste of the goals I set for myself. Obviously these are for swimming, but they can be applied to anything you strive for in your life. I always approach a workout with more challenging times I would like to achieve during a swim. If I happen to fall short of my goal, I use the disappointment to fire me up to train the next day. As a long-term goal, I am aiming to compete in my fifth Olympic Games – without daily goals as stepping stones, I would not get anywhere close.

Goals are important for everyone. Focus on where you want to be in the next five to ten years of your life and put the ball in motion. 

Set your goals TODAY. Good luck!

Please share your swimming, work or personal goals here and continue to check-in. I’d love to hear from you and help motivate you to continue to achieve them!

Finding Balance in Life

I can't express to you how important it is to achieve balance in life. Whether you’re a mom, dad, athlete, businessperson or just a regular Joe; you need to find the perfect harmony between work, family life and “me time” to not only keep your body and mind sound, but keep yourself sane too! A good balance is what allows you to live a fulfilled life and really enjoy what it has to offer. I believe that I still love to swim and compete because I have found this balance (finally – not without struggle for sure!)

It doesn’t matter if you are an athlete pursuing the first-place podium at the Olympic Games or simply a motivated stay-at-home mom; either way, you always need time for you and the things you enjoy. I always say that swimming makes me a better mom because I have a way to stay fit, active and refreshed –  this allows me to come home relaxed and energized for my son. Being a mom is a welcomed distraction from my intense training and competition, though. After a tough practice session, I can go home and enjoy my family time without constantly thinking about swimming, which actually makes me a better swimmer. The two things perfectly complement each other and allow me to be motivated at home and in the pool.

Find your own balance.


How do YOU keep a work / life balance?

Stranger Than Fiction

Our Blaise

One evening my husband Sacha, who was my boyfriend at the time, came home from work and told me about a little boy named Blaise he'd met that day. Both Sacha and I really liked the name and started talking about what we'd want to name our baby if we ever decided to have one together.

After several years passed we found ourselves married, pregnant and again discussing baby names. I remembered Blaise and reminded Sacha how much we loved the name and suggested it would be a good option for either a boy or a girl. He agreed but proposed we keep it in mind and continue our search just in case we came across something we liked better.

For weeks this was a point of contention for us as I had already pretty much made up my mind but since I didn't want to fight over something that was supposed to be fun, one evening I gave in and brought home a half dozen or so baby name books to Sacha. He was very happy and thanked me for understanding his point of view. Then jokingly he picked up one of the books and said to me, "I'm going to close my eyes, flip open this book, point to a name and whatever it is we'll name the baby that."

He did as he had explained and when he opened his eyes I saw the expression on his face change from playful to astonished.

"It's Blaise!", he said.

"What's Blaise?", I replied.

"I landed on Blaise!", he exclaimed.

As I leaned in to look, without moving his finger from where it had landed he thrust the book in my face and nearly shouted, "SERIOUSLY LOOK! I LANDED ON BLAISE!"

We both stared speechless at the book and then at eachother for about half a minute before we began discussing our amazement and the statistical probability of the scenario that had just unfolded before us.

After an hour or so the shock lessened and Sacha, realizing he had been fighting something he shouldn't, closed the book and put it away.

He hasn't touched any of the books I bought him since.

To Miss a Child

As I board my flight and find my seat I come to realize I'm surrounded by kids, none of which are my own. There's a familiarity to the commotion that brings me comfort. A small boy in front of me starts to cry and instinctively I begin to wonder about my own child.  

I know Blaise is safe at home with his dad but as the physical distance between us grows so does a pit in my stomach.

It will be gone only when I see his smiling face again.